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Fasting & Prayer Conference next Saturday; meals included.
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The Peacemakers meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”
March 13, 2008
Church Bulletin Humor 7
March 6, 2008
Church Bulletin Humor 6
• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. Please use the back door.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
February 28, 2008
Church Bulletin Humor 5
• The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth into Joy.”
• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
January 30, 2008
Church Bulletin Humor 4
• Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
• “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.”
• The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
January 14, 2008
Church Bulletin Humor 3
• Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” — come early and listen to our choir practice.
• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
December 20, 2007
Church Bulletin Humor 2
• Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
• Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.
• Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• The service will close with “Little Drops Of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.
December 4, 2007
Church Bulletin Humor
- Thursday night — potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.
- For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.